Ask Renée: Fantasy Island

Dear WOE,
Every rose has its thorn and here’s the current prick: now that you’ve got your mojo back, you’re suddenly aware of all the sex you’re not having. You’ve traded in a half-charged battery for the keys to the Las Vegas powergrid. You’ve got the sexual charge, you just need an outlet.

The mind is a powerful erogenous zone so give up the guilt, stat. You’re allowed to fantasize about your wife. You’re allowed to fantasize about anyone but your wife. Your mental ménage à trois needn’t be a threat.

You’re allowed to fantasize about anyone. Your mental ménage à trois needn’t be a threat

Prepare for the heartbreak, WOE: fantasies are hot because they’re wildly unlikely to translate to real life. And that’s exactly why overthinking them is both a recipe for guilt and a totally unnecessary bummer. Attraction waxes and wanes in any relationship. If you lose attraction permanently maybe it’s worth looking at, but odds are there’s a pretty sensible reason you’re feeling this way.

Prepare for the heartbreak, WOE: fantasies are hot because they’re wildly unlikely to translate to real life.

Impotence can be slightly traumatic: the embarrassment, the shock, the meanings you make about what it means for you as a man. If you’re coming out of a relatively sexless bout pre-Sildenafil, you may need to learn to equate your relationship with satisfying sex again.
So here’s the prescription your doctor didn’t give you: stiffen your efforts and give it a hard go, if you come back for more, that’s how you’ll know.