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Ask Renée: Should I tell my wife I’m using Viagra?
Dear Renée,
I have struggled with “inconsistency” in the bedroom for the last few years, but recently got a prescription for Viagra and feel like a teenager again! Trouble is, I haven’t told my wife. She’s commented about my “improved performance” but I find myself shying away from telling her the truth. Do I have to tell her about the origins of my newfound vigor Stigma of True Information Furthers Fear?
I have struggled with “inconsistency” in the bedroom for the last few years, but recently got a prescription for Viagra and feel like a teenager again! Trouble is, I haven’t told my wife. She’s commented about my “improved performance” but I find myself shying away from telling her the truth. Do I have to tell her about the origins of my newfound vigor Stigma of True Information Furthers Fear?
Dear STIFF,
So you’ve gone from “can’t” to Casanova and you’re bumming out the mood with boilerplate communication issues? Nothing freezes the fizzle of a bedroom renaissance like secrecy. You’re not the secret black-ops of erections. Without transparency, your non-disclosure will quickly turn into a lie and that’s a romance-killer for any relationship.
You’re not the secret black-ops of erections.
If, as your name suggests, you fear the stigma of revealing the source of your recent sexual resurgence, know that your wife is as invested in your sexual health as you are. Chances are, she already has an inkling about what’s going on anyway.
Consider the opportunity for romance and intimacy in being upfront. Ritualize the anticipation of coital bliss: A blue pill aperitif fed to you from the eager hands of your expectant bride. Instructions for a mutually cleared calendar and a fresh refill. A no-holds-barred fantasy “Truth or Dare” and the stamina to make it happen. Remember, sex isn’t just about you. It’s a relational dialogue and the best sex mirrors the best parts of your relationship. Think of it as a sexy thermostat.
Including your wife in these discussions will create opportunities for sexual expansiveness and connection. Likely, she’ll feel met by a partner dedicated to the nurturance of your sexual and emotional expression as a couple. So tell it like it is. She’ll likely thank you. In the bedroom.
Ask Renée is a column about life, love, relationships, and sex. Renée will pick questions submitted by menMD patient members and respond from her point of view. The answers are meant to be thought provoking, engaging, honest, and entertaining. You can view all of her posts in the Ask Renée section or you can ask your own questions by following the link below.
