Ask Renée: Partner’s lost sexual desire

Dear GLUM,
You’ve upgraded your software to hardware but you’re still playing libido Whack-a-Mole. Despite how it feels, your junk isn’t jinxed. Sex will always include factors in need of finessing.

You’ve upgraded your software to hardware but you’re still playing libido Whack-a-Mole. Despite how it feels, your junk isn’t jinxed.

Most people will experience low sexual desire at some point in their lives. The cause? Stress and fatigue certainly come to mind but so do bad burritos and a rough commute. Sexual desire can be a mood like anything else. But if your wife agrees she’d rather hit it than quit it, suggest a visit to her physician to first rule-out physical cause.

Libido changes throughout a lifespan. Even with synced sexual appetites, partners may experience different needs for frequency, variety or exploration. In such times, successful consummation can feel like a winning lotto ticket — with similar-seeming odds. But take heart: the good news here is plenty. You’re fired-up on getting-off! If your wife wants to rouse her own desire and meet you in the fiery pits of passion, hallelujah! You’re already in agreement.

So what can you do to help? Commit to dropping any Mr. Fix-It routine. Pumping too hard on the gas will only flood the engine. Start with supporting her on her terms, with her own sexual exploration. You’re certainly in the right position to empathize. And even if the sex isn’t quite there yet, supporting her reconnection with her own sexual desires is the key to the ignition.