Ask Renee: Outlasting my partner in bed

August 28, 2018 | Category: Ask Renée

Dear Renee,

After years of inconsistency in the bedroom, modern science has cured my ED! Problem is, my partner now complains she’s satisfied way before I’m ready to climax. Now she rarely initiates sex, and when I try, she seems reluctant. What should I do?

Sex Not Apparently For Us

Dear SNAFU,

The cruelty of Murphy’s Law may be at work here: now that you’re hot to trot, she’s seemingly… not. But let’s view your situation another way: if a unicorn can only grant infinity wishes, how much ice cream do you want with your lotto winnings? Put simply, you’ve won the jackpot in totally fixable sexual hiccups.

Now that you’re hot to trot, she’s seemingly… not

Let’s look at the data: you’re satisfying your partner with newfangled functionality but too much of a good thing, ironically, leaves you unsatisfied. You want to collect on your orgasmic dues! You want some consummation with this celebration! But easy there, tiger — only fools rush in.

Sex isn’t a distance competition; it’s a three-legged race and teamwork makes the dream work.

It sounds like the physiological excitement of getting it up may be overwhelming your sensual experience. If you’re focusing on the steak while ignoring the sizzle, you’re missing out on the sexy part of sex. Here’s the deal: most women have the capacity for multiple orgasms and attuned men have the ability to time their climax for a shared grand finale. You might be revved by your ultramarathon endurance, but the novelty of going the distance is distracting you from crossing the finish line alongside your partner. Skilled lovers coordinate peak timing and overshooting the moment doesn’t win medals. Sex isn’t a distance competition; it’s a three-legged race and teamwork makes the dream work.

 

Ask Reneé is a weekly column about life, love, relationships, and sex. Reneé will pick questions submitted by menMD patient members and respond from her point of view. The answers are meant to be thought provoking, engaging, honest, and entertaining. You can view all of her posts in the Ask Reneé section or you can ask your own questions by following the link below.

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