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Ask Renée: Mood for Love

October 1, 2019 | Category: Ask Renée

Dear Renée,

My girlfriend and I lead busy lives and opportunities for romance are limited. In these rare moments, something always gets in the way: exhaustion and not being “in the mood” top the list. How can I help us get on the same page?

Needing One Passionate Evening

Dear NOPE,

Even when we’re fired up, our inner saboteur can present us with 1,000 excuses on why sex isn’t on the table… or on the bed, or the couch. But here’s the thing: perfect conditions aren’t given to us by the Gods of Sexual Frequency. If we want it, we have to work for it.

If you’d rather persuade the mood than evade the nude, it’s time to re-up on your seduction game. Easier said than done? Not necessarily.

Successful seduction is a flexible and artful transition, not a booklet of Ikea instructions

Seduction isn’t all that mysterious: establish a sensual mood and work to maintain it. “Kama Sutra Tunes, Volume 2” and a dimmer-switch? Please don’t. Successful seduction is a flexible and artful transition, not a booklet of Ikea instructions. But some starter advice? Focus your attention on engaging your lover’s senses. Arousing sensations of taste, touch, sight, sound and smell add to the richness of the mood and will shift the day’s mental chatter to the pleasures of bodily delight. (You can take it from here.)

A lover’s initial hesitancy is often just a faulty transition..

Setting the mood isn’t about tried-and-true tricks of the trade. It’s about concentrating on a shared intimacy of the moment. A lover’s initial hesitancy is often just a faulty transition. Care in cultivating the mood will move you from the day’s boardroom to the evening’s bedroom faster than your lover can say, “Not tonight, honey.”

b

Ask Renée is a weekly column about life, love, relationships, and sex. Renée will pick questions submitted by menMD patient members and respond from her point of view. The answers are meant to be thought provoking, engaging, honest, and entertaining. You can view all of her posts in the Ask Renée section or you can ask your own questions by following the link below.

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