Ask Renée: How to confront an over-sharer
My wife is an over-sharer and brings up my ED issues around our friends and family. I’m not opposed to having this conversation between just the two of us, but frankly, I’m a bit ashamed about my diagnosis and don’t want everyone to know. When I’ve tried to bring this up, she tells me I’m being silly, that there’s nothing to be ashamed about. How do I approach this situation without causing a fight?
Seeking Help in Hushing Her
In the wise words of the Buddha: when dirty looks fail, consider gentle kicks under the table. It sounds like your wife just doesn’t get it: your wang is your thang. You’ve nobly tried talking to her but instead of barring the broadcast, she buys-in on a billboard.
Make like cellophane and be clear: there’s a time and a place for swapping sexy tidbits and the BBQ line at a family reunion isn’t one of them.
So what can you do? Make like cellophane and be clear: there’s a time and a place for swapping sexy tidbits and the BBQ line at a family reunion isn’t one of them. Keep in mind, though a bit inelegant, your wife’s over-sharing may serve a point. ED is not a solo burden and your wife’s cringy timing may be an attempt to communicate co-ownership: this is her sex life, too. You own the Erection but you both share in the Dysfunction. Reassure her that she’s allowed to talk about her feelings when it comes to her sex life; you’re just asking for a little sensitivity. Odds are, she’ll get it. But if not, clear your calendar of all her major friend and family get-togethers and rest easy in your excuse: you may have some shame to contend with but your wife doesn’t have enough.
Ask Renée is a column about life, love, relationships, and sex. Renée will pick questions submitted by menMD patient members and respond from her point of view. The answers are meant to be thought provoking, engaging, honest, and entertaining. You can view all of her posts in the Ask Renée section or you can ask your own questions by following the link below.